Monkey Time

I have come to the conclusion that I am a monkey. Not some of that evolution crap, but actually a monkey. Now all of you out there probs think I am crazy, out of my mind, lost for goo (which is not a far off statement). When I say I’m a monkey I mean a creature that we, as humans, study behind glass, study about and talk about in introduction to evolutionary biology classes. So lets try to imagine and use our brains and transform ourselves to be at a zoo (ironically I actually really miss the zoo, the cotton candy, the green grass, my mom ☹). When animals live at Zoo’s, the zoo keepers try and make their environment similar to their “natural environments”. Lets say, we’re a monkey (ME) and I’m from Africa. The zookeepers and designers try and create a space for me to live with trees, dirt and other biological species that are native to my homeland (Africa). They give exhibits names such as “Nocturnal” exhibit (which by the way is the BEST exhibit at the Seattle Zoo), “Tropics”, the “Rainforest”. They assume that decorating the décor in the characteristic stereotypes of such places, the animals will feel more at home. Now, due to my automatic metamorphosis into a monkey, I say that’s bull crap. Yes, they give me a house, with a roof and 3 windows and 2 doors. Yes, they give me my own compound and my own porch, yes they give me a bathroom….Well, no they give me a place to GO to the bathroom, and yet I do not feel at home. I have foreign bugs forcibly inhabiting my living environment (without my permission), the sun is way to bloody hot, and the smell is completely off. Along with that, when I am with my other monkey friends, we talk in our native language (to some this may sound like an odd array of clicking) and most definitely talk about how we are NOT at home. Anyways, so me, a money, is living in a zoo, a foreign place they have put me to teach and “be examined”

(In conjunction with my above statement I would like to clarify. The second and third goal of the PC is to, simply put it, learn about another culture and simultaneously displaying American ethics, ideals and ethos to said culture. We can be said to be cultural ambassadors. Learning from our new family, but showing that culture who Americans are)

On to the food in the zoo, the zookeepers feed me what they think I want to eat. They give me utensils to use, and let me eat out of my own bowl (which really makes me just feel more lonely than I already am). In reality, im like, really? You think im going to eat that? And no, just because you put one piece of green leafy thing and then cooked it for 6 hours does not mean it has nutrients. So what do I do? I say im full and go home and eat the sticks and twigs I brought from home, ameriki style (thanks mom!!!).

Now at the Zoo, the surroundings and food are only a small part of what I live through every day, really it’s the people, the kids, the countless small smelly dirty kids who annoy me….who really annoy me. I mean, think about it, if you were in a cage and kids kept on screaming your name for hours on end and tapping, no pounding on the glass, you would get a little annoyed too, right? Anyways, the purpose of a zoo is to alloy people to see something new, to learn something new about a different culture, even if that may between species. When this cultural exchange happens, what results is STARING! Everyone stares. It’s like I’m an alien and I’ve come to the planet and BOOM, I’m the biggest attraction since sliced bread, King Kong, the royal wedding.

(Disclaimer, this notion has nothing to do with any Malian. Malian culture is one fulfilled with community and family. A single white woman is not only a phenomenon, but it does not make sense to Malians that I like to live alone and be alone. This is part of this cultural exchange we, as PCVs, partake in).

On with my ranting, you have all been to the zoo. You know when you are looking at a monkey, lion or any animal, and it is sleeping and then slowly lifts its head, gives you a death stare and then lowers it? Well, I do this every day. Its like, I know I’m interesting and all, but im sleeping and you keep on calling my name, yelling my name, can’t you tell im sleeping? So I look up and say “lots of profanities” and then lower my head and go back to sleep. Furthermore, all the kids are staring and smacking their lips makes me, even more, want to pretend I’m sleeping so I don’t have to watch you stare at me awkwardly! On top of that, when the zookeepers realize that I CAN wash myself and I CAN cook, its like the greatest discovery since the moon (sorry NASA, I gotcha passed).

In conclusion, I’m not a total bitch and would like to add a couple of thoughts and feelings since my transformation into a monkey. When kids (and adults at that) go to the zoo, they never mean to be mean or annoying, they are just curious. When I am at home, I love to go the zoo, so I am just as guilty as anyone. They’re curious and most times just want to learn your story, what you’re about. This is human nature, I tell myself and most importantly this is how it feels to be different.

In high school, or at any time, no one wants to be so different that people stare, point and talk. Yes I am 6 foot and quite large, but I have never been so different that people stare at me like this, I’ve never wanted to stay in my house all day just so I don’t have to feel so different, so bad, so wrong. Feeling this, knowing how this feels like, I think, is good. I’ve never been on the other side of the fence before, and now that I am, I am so thankful and grateful for who I am, for who I have grown up to be. I have never felt so much in the minority; I feel uncomfortable in every way. Learning how to deal with that, while keeping my own identity and personality and mainly learning what its like being different, is paramount to what I am doing here and in teaching me the lessons that will, hopefully, make me a better person. The PC is hard not just because we have moved away from our families, friends and culture. It is not just hard because we don’t know the language and are not familiar with the environment. The PC is hard also because, for some of us, it is the first time we have ever felt so different that we are uncomfortable at all times in the day, we don’t know how to act and feel by being in this new group, and that is why its hard. Why most of us talk to ourselves during the day (seriously, we do ALL THE TIME), telling ourselves we can do this, telling ourselves we are strong and confident and smart enough to embark on this journey.